2015 - My Highs and Lows

This post is dedicated to Tilda who kept nudging me to finish this post and has probably been the most excited for it, much love. 

As usual, 2015 was full with a lot of highs and lows, however, apart from a few things it was probably the best year of my life so far.

So I kicked 2015 off with quite a chill January, nothing particularly exciting happened other than my aunt turning 40, one of my good friends Kaveena, in the middle of the photo above, turned 16 and I finally got my ears pierced. I love my family and they play a huge role in my life and for us all to be in the same room at once was a miracle within itself. Last year a lot of my friends turned 16 or 17 and I am someone who truly cares deeply for my friends and to be able to celebrate with them was amazing! Also, myself and Kaveena have been friends for nearly 3 years now but we became really close last year and it made me so unbelievably happy. So Kaveena if you're reading this I have a lot of love for you <3

Getting my ears pierced was a big thing for me because I HATE needles, but I decided to man up and get them done. Yes they got infected, but that's just a minor detail.

I actually can't remember February, because the first half of 2015 was mainly spent revising for my GCSE exams in the summer. I sat 12 GCSES and over 24 exams, which was genuinely my idea of hell, however, I pulled through and came out with results that I'm really pleased with. Although they're not stellar, I know that I worked really hard to achieve them and it makes them extra special. Technically this was in May - August, but a lot happened in August so I thought I'd slot it in here.

In March I finally had my braces taken off after two years of dealing with them. They genuinely were the bane of my life and at first I thought I looked awful without them. Not true, well I don't think so. Honestly it boosted my confidence so much and I would highly recommend it to anyone, because although you look awkward af with them afterwards you'll feel like a goddess. You should feel like a goddess everyday, but more so than usual ;)

I also did my RAD (Royal Academy of Dance) Grade 6 exam and somehow managed to get a pretty high merit, considering I didn't know a lot of the syllabus the week before I did well. I have been dancing since I was around 2, around 15 years :o, and I have been with the same teacher for all of that time. Although I'm not the best dancer and nor will I make a career out of it, I love to dance and I've also made life long friends through it so for that I'm forever thankful.

Also a quick shoutout to Heather, who has been in videos and blogposts before, but the fact that after 12 years of friendship and we still like each other is mind-blowing. She's progressed so much this year and I'm so proud of her as her friend but also so happy to share in her success. I love you more than Annabelle loves coffee and dogs.

April marked my cousin's 13th Birthday and the start of me beginning to finish year 11 and my secondary school 'career'. My younger cousin, Aaron, is more of a brother to me and I've found that we grew extremely close to each other in 2015 and although he can be extremely annoying I was so happy that I was able to celebrate with him. Unfortunately he hates his picture being taken so he won't let me add one on here.

Finishing year 11 was kind of a shock to the system, because being in the lower school was all I had known for 5 years and suddenly I had to make decisions and try and pretend that I had everything together. The photo above was when we received our leavers hoodie that I wear constantly to Sixth Form and in bed, yeah it's seen a lot. I was also midway through my revision for my exams that started in May and although I was really stressed I was also really happy. My core group of friends and I had so much fun and beginning to go on study leave meant that I was able to do a lot more socially. The stress was outweighed by how much fun we had in those last few months. I'm kind of envious of the Year 11s this year, because I felt that Year 11 is where you're old enough to enjoy new things but still have the excuse of being a child. We had no worries other than exams, although that was a huge worry, and the Year 11 summer is probably the best you'll have. (I'll come back to this once I've had my Year 13 one though).

May bought the start of my exams and me finally finishing my secondary school education, I got a fancy certificate so it must be legit right? Starting my exams was really stressful, however, I was also relieved that all of the lead up and two years of hard work was finally coming to an end. My dad took time of during my times to actually get me revising, because I do need a good kick up the backside at the best of times. But, it was really great as we I get on really well with my dad and he kept me sort of sane throughout the month of my exams.

I sort of mentioned finishing secondary school above, but it still feels strange as it marked the end of an era and it also meant that I am growing up. Which is terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. I can barely decide what I should Instagram let alone try and be an adult. However, we'll take it one step at a time and I am forever thankful for my 5 years in the lower school, because I have made life long friends and it helped me to become the person I am today.

June was a ridiculously fun month as I went to two concerts, finished my GCSEs, went to prom, which I organised and saw a lot of my family and friends. After finishing my GCSEs I kind of felt that I was free in a sense, as I had no work to do and really nothing to worry about. What was done was done and I just had to enjoy my long summer.

The two concerts that I went to were 5 Seconds Of Summer, which was actually during my exams, and British Summer Time at Hyde Park when Taylor Swift played. I have loved 5SOS for quite a while and to break up my exams with a concert it was quite fun not gonna lie. However, my true highlight, definitely on my top 10 in life, was seeing Taylor Swift. I have listened to Taylor Swift for over 7 years and I never dreamt that I would be able to see her live. Not only did I see her live, I saw her with my friends in Hyde Park along with 60,000 other people and she brought the likes of Kendall Jenner, Serena Williams and Cara Delevingne on stage. IT WAS A DREAM. I also got to see Ellie Goulding and John Newman who were also amazing. But no-one beats Taylor she is just as good in real life as she is on the radio. Taylor you are my queen.

Also, a quick shoutout to main girl for over 5 years, Anna. We have been through so much together and our friendship makes me so happy, because we have been through our bad phases and good phases but we're still good friends. From the day that I met her, I knew that we'd be friends for life and she's had enough of my soppiness for the past 5 years, so here's to another 5+ years together stumbling through life!

Prom, oh Prom, I have a love hate relationship with it. I was part of the prom committee in my school, but I ended up doing a lot of the work and if I could sum Prom up in one word it would be stress. STRESS. Oh my it's one of the most stressful things that I've ever done, although it's also one of my proudest achievements. My biggest joy in life is seeing other people happy and everyone looked stunning and so happy at prom that it made the months of stress worth it. It was such a fun night and although I had to stay to clean up afterwards it was definitely something I won't forget.

Something that you may be aware of is that I spent a month of 2015 in Tanzania, which I will talk about in July, however, before I went I wanted too see as much of my extended family that I could. Me and my Dad nicknamed it Tour le Familie, because we literally drove round the country just to spend a weekend or day with my loved ones. The above photo is with my little cousin Jeevan who I have a really good relationship with and his cuteness never fails to win me over. It's sad that they live 4 hours away, because otherwise I would probably move in with them. The love I have for certain members of my family is huge.

July and August of this year were probably the best for me, because I have never been happier.

Being happy has always been a struggle for me, but going to Tanzania and generally spending time with my friends made me the happiest I've ever been. I didn't argue with anyone, didn't cry once (there was one happy cry) and I honestly wish I could go back. I've decided to put both months together, because they did kind of blur into one.

So July kicked off with me celebrating my friend Amy's birthday and although I celebrated a lot of my friends birthdays (obviously they're annual), we just had a day where everything was really comfortable and fun. This sounds cheesy but one of the days where you're not doing anything specific but you're surrounded by good people and you just have loads of fun.

Tanzania, the most amazing country with the most amazing people and I will never forget it. If you watched my YouTube video then you will know that I went to Tanzania for a month to trek in the mountains, do charity work in a school, fend for myself (along with my team) and explore the beautiful country. I could honestly write a whole blogpost on my experience, which I am planning to do, so I'm not going to go into too much detail here. However, it was honestly the best month of my life, because I learnt so much about the world we live in and so much about myself. I really developed as a person, I made some amazing friends and what I experienced I wouldn't exchange for the world. I'm itching to write a post about it and I will in the near future, so I'm going to save a lot for that but for now I encourage anyone who has any opportunity in life, whether that be big or small, to grab them with both hands. It will be worth it.

Also whilst I was out in Tanzania, my mum managed to get a message to my group leader that my nephew had been born. That was the only time during the trip that I felt homesick and sad that I missed his birth. Honestly, I cried happy tears because I was so happy in that moment. It was nice to cry happy tears and not sad tears for once.

I also was lucky enough to travel to Valencia in Spain with my cousins for around 5 days, which was surprisingly good. As I have been to Spain a few times I was a bit sceptical that we would be experiencing a lot of what we had experienced before, however, I was very wrong. Do not be close minded kids! As always I had a lot of fun with my cousins and it was so great to relax and sort of be pampered after my experience in Tanzania. Spain is a stunning country and I made a lot of personal memories that I will cherish forever. Also the insta worthy photos I got where deffo worth it!

Lastly, I had GCSE results day and it was bloody terrifying. All I'm going to say is that although they seem incredibly important right now, which they are don't get me wrong, they're not the be all and end all. If you don't quite get the grades you want, that's okay, because you are more than a piece of paper with letters or numbers on.

September brought around a lot of change for me, because not only did I start Sixth Form and A-levels, new girls entered my year and old girls left. Two of my good friends left to go onto other places and although I miss them dearly I'm glad that they're both in places that they enjoy and are happy, plus we're still good friends. I'm actually really glad that new girls also entered my school, because 1) they're all lovely and 2) it was nice to have some fresh faces.

The day before I started school, which was quite a shock to the system, I went to see Bend It Like Beckham in the West End with a few friends. I have loved Bend It Like Beckham since I was around 6 and to see it performed so well in the West End was amazing, also it was a great way to end the holidays.

The main highlight of September was probably getting to celebrate my best friends birthday. Although the last photo is at a latter date, it's my favourite photo of us so it got a place here. Honestly, myself and Bea are far too in sync with each other it scares me at the best of times. I probably neglect to tell her how much she means to me, because without her I genuinely don't know where I'd be. We've been through a lot together and 2015 made us stronger and closer than ever. She is the second most lamest person that I know, but I'm the first so I guess it works out well. Whenever she's happy, I'm happy and whenever she's sad, I'm sad, because she is like family to me and is the closest thing I have to a sister. Beatrice, I know you're reading this so here's to our weird arse relationship that I wouldn't trade for the world. I love you with rainbow hearts and tongue emojis for life.

October was the hardest month of my life. However, up until the 16th it was actually a really good month.

I take RS A-level and Diwali usually occurs around October/November, so me and a bunch of girls decided to head to the Diwali celebrations in Trafalgar Square, which I've already written a post about. It was a really fun day, which gave me the same level of happiness that I felt in the summer and I have a lot of cute memories from. I'm not going to talk too much about it, but if you want to find out more then it's two posts back.

As I write this paragraph my heart sinks, because on the 16th October I sadly lost the most important man and one of the most important people in my life, my Grandad. You will have noticed a lack of posting since October and that is due to this, because it has been a very personal and emotional time for me. I do not want to go into too much detail as I don't want to get too emotional and I would prefer to keep this quite personal. I will say that my Grandad cared for me from when I was born until the age of 11 and the bond I had with him I will never have with anyone else. Losing him has been the hardest thing that I have ever had to go through and with each day I miss him more and more. Nothing can prepare you for losing a loved one and the fact that he passed from heart failure means that I never got to thank him or say my final goodbye. So, if you don't mind, I would just like to say thank you Babba Ji for always believing in me, being there for me when no-one else was, for be the most inspiring person and for being my best friend. I'm crying as I write this, because I love you with every piece of my heart and not having you here is awful, but I know that you're with your brothers now. Have a drink on me, x

I'd also like to take this space to thank and appreciate three people.

Tilda, you have been a ridiculous rock for me these last 4 months and I am so happy that we're friends. You're such a beautiful person inside and out, even when you wear glittery socks tucked into your trousers. Even though you're a fake blonde, you never fail to make me laugh on the toughest days and you are officially my biggest supporter of my blog. I hope that we're friends until we're old and frail, because if the last 4 months are anything to go by then it's going to be an amazing ride. I love you smilda.

Nia, you are hands down the strongest person I know. I know 2015 wasn't easy for you and yet you have been there for everyone and still manage to maintain a really high banter level. Again I'm so happy we're friends, because you brighten up my days and how could anyone not love you. Although I will never be on board with the septum piercing, you have taught me to care less about what people say and that vape is definitely love and life. If I love you this much after 4 months then I think we might need to arrange a wedding soon, because you and tilda are both going to be stuck with me for a long time.

Dimeji, oh where to start with you. Lord the majority of the time you are the bane of my life, but I bloody love you. I admire your ability of being able to work hard, even with me annoying you, and your capacity of love for your friends. Although you have a weird way of showing it, you have been there for me since day 1 and I know that I can count on you. I know it's not your fault for not having eyebrows, but if you weren't in my life I'd probably still be a weak link. I know you hate this sort of thing, but it's chilling right?

Also in October, I celebrate Mehr's birthday who I've grown incredibly close to in 2015 and I have a lot of love for her and her makeup. We got a lot of cute photos and it was the first day after the 16th that I felt genuinely happy. I love spending any time with my friends, because they are my support system and the people I rely on. 

On the 31st I started my first job! Somehow, after applying for a countless number of jobs I was finally successful at landing a job at Cath Kidston. I laugh at how nervous I was and how awkward I was on my first day, but I have met some amazing people through my job and I love everyone I work with. Although it takes up almost all of my weekends, I love my job and I am so happy with it.

November meant that I was turning 17, doing a dance show and my school winter ball took place! These were all within the last 5 days of the month, but they really stand out for me. 

I know that I've mentioned a lot of my friends in this post, but I rarely tell them how much I appreciate them. Just a quick shoutout to Kaush who also had a really tough 2015, but being the bloody trooper she is, she's got up and soldiered on. Her commitment to charity and her enthusiasm is awe-inspiring, Kaushika you will forever be my goals.

My Winter Ball was a LOT of fun, especially because my squad got ready at my house, check my YouTube out for a cute video, and it marked me starting to try and move forward from my grief. Not only did everyone look amazing, I felt beautiful and the photobooth and bad dancing was so much fun. Especially since I've started working I find it hard to do things with my friends, but as this was on a Friday I was able to just have fun, which we should all do more often.

On my birthday I had a ballet presentation and a birthday dinner planned. It's hard to believe that I am now Grade 7, soon to be Grade 8, and that I have danced for over 14 years makes me not only feel old but proud at how far I have come. On my birthday I felt incredibly loved by all my friends and family, which was the nicest feeling in the world. To know you care to people is always amazing to hear. Also thank you to everyone who came on a Sunday, during term time, because I love every single one of my friends.

The girl in the last photo is Farzana, and we became friends fast in 2015, although she thought I was really weird, which I am, and was unsure about me in the beginning, I value our friendship so much. Don't get me wrong she is the snakiest person I know, but she also really cares for her friends. She is there for me rain or shine and whatever time. We throw a lot of insults at each other, but I hope that we're close friends until one of us dies, because she's so bloody funny and I really love her. 

Finally I've made it to December! Only taken me around 4 days to write this, not 4 days straight but still. I was glad to see the back of 2015 in some sense as I felt that I needed a clean slate, but December was still a lot of fun. I had speech day, which was an excuse to dress up and celebrate out GCSE results. It was good to see people that had left and I felt a bit of pride walking up to collect my certificate, although I was more focused on not falling over in front of everyone.

I also was part of the cast for the Year 12 pantomime at our school, which has been tradition long before I came to the school 6 years ago. Every year the standard of the panto's increase and once again thank you to our directors and writers who made it, dare I say it, the best one that I've ever seen at our school. It was so much fun to be part of and I really love the community that we have at my school and how this is when I know it's Christmas.

During the holidays I worked a lot, but I also saw a few friends. We did not celebrate Christmas this year in light of the events that occurred, but I still had a good break. I rang in the New Year with a few friends and I was surrounded by love, so I couldn't ask for anything more.

If you have made it to the end then I applaud you, because I can't even be bothered to go back and proof read it. 2015 was a really good year for me and although there were low points, unfortunately that's life. I was really disappointed with my lack of posting on my blog and Youtube, but I've devised a plan to ensure I am more active. Thank you to every single one of you who read this blog, whether it be my friends or someone on the other side of the world, every view means the world to me. I hope you continue to be apart of my journey through 2016 and here's to a better year than the last!

Bye x